Top 10 List

10+ Changes that happened while the Pastor Was Away

10. Pastor's office is now a video arcade.
9. Salvation Detectors were installed
8. Members filled out automatic debit since Pastor often forgets to take offering
7. 2 for 1 membership drive was successful
6. We cancelled Worship Service and went to Chicken Express at church's expense
5. We installed 2 bowling lanes to give members and visitors options on Sundays
4. Starbucks was built in the corner
3. Confession Stalls put in to make Catholic visitors comfortable
2. Poster of Marylin Monroe was put at the door as the official greeter
1. Astroturf was installed and all the lawn equipment sold on EBAY (my first move as Head Groundskeeper)

Honorable mentions

-High Dive installed for exciting future Baptisms
-Sonic Style speakers put in for option to listen to sermon on parking lot
-Valet Parking raised $100, only one car stolen
-Members were taught how to pull plank from each other's eyes
-We practiced throwing stones, although nobody was without sin
-We made prank phone calls to those were weren't in attendance Sunday

Let me know your favorite(or add your own and I'll post the adds)