Church Bulletins

About 15 years ago or so at the church I belonged to in Missouri a few of my friends and I would doctor up the church bulletins on Sunday during the service. We would severely alter the worship agenda by changing names of songs and people into funniers names or sayings. Ex. Our call to salvation song was Jesus Paid It All and we may change it to Jesus Played Guitar. We'd also turn in guest cards for David Letterman and P.W. Hermann to mention a few and they would often make the church newsletter. Well, this weekend I came across a few guest cards that I'd done up. I did the backs which had things to check for more information like: How to become a Christian, How to Join the Church, Youth Activities and such. The following is the list of items I added for checking: the theme was Texas week and I still lived in Missouri. My friend billyv and a few other church friends had moved to the Fort Worth area.

I'd like information about:

__ The country of Texas
__ How to become a Texan AND a Christian
__ Burning Texas Toast
__ Burning Texans
__ Open hunting season on Texans
__ Bomb Texas instead of Iraq, it's closer(my guess 1990s)
__ How to humble a Texan(can't be done)
__ Cowboy hats, horses, boots, big belt buckles
__ Y'all come Texas Choir
__ Building a fence around Texas(already being done)
__ I'd like someone to contact me and share information
about the church that has no Texans in it.
__ I'd like to talk like a Texan and our pastor.

I also would give a survey question on other requests at the bottom:

We should have a Texas Pride:
a. day
b. week
c. month
d. year
e. ALWAYS