Do you remember what it felt like when you realized that you no longer wanted to date someone that you had invested a lot of time in? Maybe you avoided phone calls or made excuses for not being able to get together. More than that I'm thinking about that actual feeling of when you began to wonder if this person was right for you or not. Kind of a feeling of confusion wondering if it is something that you were doing wrong, or just second guessing if you made the right decision in the first place. Or maybe this person what just the right person to get you through a certain period in your life before you moved on.
Well, today my friend Bobby and I were driving back from our retreat and I knew I had enough time to get home, freshen up, and then get to church in time for our worship service. As we were driving I was having these feelings about my church . I'm not sure I was looking for feedback, I just think I needed someone to express my thoughts and feelings to. When you are dating someone that you are really excited about you just can't wait to be with them and spend time together. I just wasn't experiencing those feelings about church today. I had every excuse to NOT go. I got 5 hours sleep the night before. My duties were covered. I could just show up late for our luncheon.
I decided to go and really went to be with my family.
End result: I'm not sure my feelings were addressed. I was validated by many of my friends who let me know that they missed me at bible class and a few told me they were glad that I was actually able to make it.
I'm really going to need to think this one through. Or maybe I should go to my knees in prayer. I need clarification if this is the right church for me and my family. We are very involved so uprooting would be a hard thing to do. In my 20+ years of going to church as an adult I've only left a church to find a new one just one time. Keep me and my family in your prayers.